Silence

Silence….
An empty space
A Nude noise
Clock ticking somewhere in the background
A honk here
A drop there

Silence… so peaceful
yet so terrifying!

Utopia

Thoughts are like an empty boat in a great ocean

drifting aimlessly in the direction the wind blows.

To reach land is like an utopian dream

yet to realize that dream one must get lost first.

Intimacy

While our perfect intimacy

lures me toward your imperfect nature

I transformed into a holy sinner

from an unholy saint

 

Consumed by your vortex

I destroyed me

you destroyed me

while you remained stoic

 

Now there lies my heart

on the ground

spewed out from the vortex

but hardly beating

 

Time hardly matters now

seasons seem blur

I moved on

but traces of intimacy still remain

Stay Away

Stay away!

 Stay away!

My time ain’t come yet

 I am not ready

to sleep in your

arms of death!

Abyss of Fear

 

Caught between the abyss

of real and surreal

My mind grapples to make

sense of this constant noise.

 

The lark stopped

singing long ago

The high faded

ages ago.

 

 

My fear lurks in

 form of darkness

playing an ugly

hide and seek.

 

Now the end to madness

seems oh so near

yet the journey

has just began.

River of Insanity

—————————————–

It all Started with a thought

and a bottle of vodka

The thoughts multipled

as vodka took control

before I realised

I was floating

down the river of insanity

Last Dance

——————————–

She promised a dance

and a candle light dinner

a date was made

at the edge of the river

 

He came dressed like a King

and imagined her as the queen

with flowers as a gift

and wine to keep them warm

 

 

He sat on the bench

Brimming with hope

Moon looked over him

and stars gave him company

 

Then she came

dressed like a queen

his heart leaped

and thoughts froze

 

She kissed him on the cheeks

and asked how he was

before he could answer

she said she had to go

 

Her prince charming was waiting

Down the river

He just smiled

And gave her the flowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obituary

 

I know not your last words

Because they were unsaid.

I know not your last wish

Because it was not wished.

I know not your last thoughts.

Because they were not expressed.

 

 While the rest of us were still dreaming

You silently departed.

My Kinda Hell

 

 

Finally! The moment I’ve been waiting for. I dreamt about it. I thought about how it all will happen. What would I be doing? What would I be wearing? What would my family be doing? All of us do at some point or the other. All of us think about our ends. And then it happened. One raining morning, I dropped dead. Just like that! All efforts of re-vitalizing me failed. Fools! They didn’t know. I was a goner.

 

I felt like a huge weight has been taken off my chest. I was relieved. It’s like I have broken off some unknown shackles that tied me down to this material, unforgiving and unlivable world. Finally I was free. I was excited about the journey. Journey to the after-life! Oh! I would fry in hell, I knew that. And boy was I ready for it! The way I look at it- frying in hell is like having an orgasm when compared to living in the mortal and judgmental world. There are two types of worlds as far as I am concerned. One the entire world and other: your own little world. When you have managed to wreck your own little world, there is no place you can hide because your world is part of the bigger world.

 

Anyways, I began my journey after having the complete satisfaction of seeing the last bits of my body burned to ash. That’s my ticket! So what now? Where do I go? Is there some kind of place I need to be at where I will be picked up from? While I was trying to figure out what to do next, a dude/dudette (can’t say for sure) appears in front of me and said “you ready?” To which I replied “Hell yeah!”

 

Trust me when I say this, you guys must have seen the portkey thingy in Harry Potter movies? That’s what I saw. The dude/dudette asked me to hold to his/her arm tightly. I had no choice but to hold his/her hand which was covered with tattoos of some kind. And there puff! I was stood in front of some kinda weird looking structure. I am not kidding. I was told that this was a common holding area where the sinner are separated from saints and sent to hell or heaven respectively. So I stood there in line waiting for my turn to enter into the weird looking structure. Once I got in there were these counters that you had to go. I quickly joined ones of the queues.  As I stood there waiting for my turn, I couldn’t help but look around to see if there is anybody I know. I thought I recognized a couple but again was not sure.

 

And when my turn came, the lady behind the counter asked me to stretch my hand. She stared at my palm for a long time. After which, she referred a list and read out my name and some other details and asked me to confirm them. When I did, she frowned. I was not surprised. I thought the list she  looked at must have mentioned that I be shipped to the darkest place  in hell. But all she did was to ask me to wait. I must admit, I was a little perplexed. All sorts of thoughts came to me. What if my time was not over and they would send me back to the mortal world. But I was wrong. I was guided by a creepy looking guy toward another building. What I had to go through next was very painful. I was led into a room full of mirrors. Everywhere you look, the only thing you see if your own self.  Then it made sense to me. I was to look at myself and it was not easy. I’ve avoided doing that all my life. After what I did to people, I didn’t have the courage to look at myself.  Everywhere I looked, it me staring back to me.  I couldn’t even close my eyes. It didn’t happen. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t close my eyes at all. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do. I was prepared for the worst kind of punishment in hell, but not this. It’s simple and the most effective way of punishment. But I had an eerie feeling that this is not the end. After what appeared to be ages, the door opened and I was led out.  I was told this was just the beginning. One thing most sinners avoid is looking  at themselves in the mirror.  I knew that whatever came next would be worst than this and trust me I was not ready for it.

 

I was led by a creepy looking guy into another building filled with rooms. Each floor had several rooms and all of them were locked. I walked past several such doors and kept on walking.  And finally it happened. I stopped in front of door which had my name on it. I was told that this is the room I was to enter and this is where my soul will rest forever. I asked that creepy looking guy if this is hell. With a straight face he replied “worst than hell”.

 

  The room was dark and initially I couldn’t see anything. My first instinct was to run out of the room. But I knew I could never open the door and I was in a place where breaking the door and running away is not the option. I felt I was in a horror movie where anything or anyone can pop out of nowhere and scare the fuck out of you. Then slowly dark shapes appeared.  After a while I saw those shapes clearly. The felt the full impact of creepy guy’s words when I saw what was in front me.  I was shocked beyond words.

There in front of me were bunch of people. All the people I hurt in my life. Their staring eyes demanding answers. I was defenseless, weaponless. There was nothing to hide behind. No excuses, no lies, no manipulations.   I escaped them before. But now there is no escape.

Yes this is worst than hell! Now I knew why I lived so long.