Reluctant Traveler’s dairy

 

Varanasi, a magnet for all things spiritual, occupies a special place in the hearts’ of millions of Hindus all over the world. Situated on the banks of river Ganga (considered one of the holiest rivers by Hindus), the city is in the midst of an evolution from being one of the oldest cities to a city where the arms of modernization are slowly spreading.   Caught between being a lazy traveler and a reluctant pilgrim I set out on the journey with lot of questions and excitement.

Allahabad:

After spending 26 hours in a train, my journey started with the city of Allahabad. As soon as I got out of the station, I was greeted with a big hoarding of “Kumari” Mayawati (one of India’s powerful and influential politicians). Allahabad is famous for Triveni Sangam. Triveni Sangam is the confluence of three holy rivers Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati. This place is of mighty importance to all Hindus. According to the mythology a great battle took place between the Gods and Demons for a pitcher of nectar which will bestow immortality. During the great battle, a drop of nectar fell where the Sangam currently is situated. Hence it is believed that a holy dip at the Sangam will not only break the cycle of re-birth, but also wash away all the sins and pave the way for heaven. For the same reason the ashes of dead people are immersed in the Triveni Sangam. So I took a boat ride to the place where the three rivers meet for a holy dip hoping to wash away all my sins. I was immediately taken aback at the extent of pollution. These rivers apart from being holy, also serve as dumping grounds for almost everything and anything which is a paradox. The most common answer I get when I ask the locals of this paradox is that they depend on these rivers for everything. Literally everything! Nevertheless with great trepidation, I took a dip in the cold and frigid water. And surprisingly, I felt a strange and inexplicable peace wash over me.  

Triveni Sangam is also famous for the Kumbh and Maha Kumbh Mela. These Melas which takes place on the banks of the Sangam occurs every 12 and 144 years respectively. It’s the largest gathering of Hindus on a single day and has a special significance for Hindus. The major events of the festival are a ritual bath at the banks of the river Ganga. Other activities include religious discussions, devotional singing, mass feeding of holy men and women and the poor, and religious assemblies where doctrines are debated and standardized. It is also believed that on this day, Gods come in the form of humans to take a dip at the Sangam during Kumbh Mela. These Melas are often visited by Naga Sadhus (also called as Aghoras).  The Naga Sadhus are considered to be devout followers of Lord Shiva. They are feared and also revered for their extreme lifestyle.

Varanasi:

It is said that every Hindu must visit Varanasi atleast once in their lifetime.  There has always been some kind of spiritual mystery surrounding Varanasi (also called as Kasi and Benaras).  I’ve heard stories of people renouncing everything and traveling to Varanasi to become a Sadhu or to die. I was determined to find out what is that makes this place so special and different from other holy places. This leg of my journey started on a bitter note when I lost my expensive mobile and many pictures that I had already clicked. It is believed that everybody who visits Varanasi is supposed to give up atleast one thing that is dear to them. I had made up my mind not to go by this adage. But unfortunately I lost my mobile and in a strange way I was forced to follow the age old adage. Anyways my first thoughts about the city were that it is like any holy city coping with the flood of pilgrims that visit every day.  The city as such needs a lot of development in terms of basic sanity. The roads are narrow and filled with overflowing traffic with absolutely no sense of direction.  And to add to the many forms of pollution is noise pollution. I am surprised that I haven’t gone deaf with the constant, irritating and unnecessary honking. Apart from the many temples, I absolutely loved the ubiquitous tuk tuks (3 wheeled cycles propelled by human power and used as means of transportation).  Travelling in them you almost feel like a Maharaja traveling on an elephant.

To reach the banks of river Ganga one has to navigate a series of intricate and very narrow lanes which often can become very confusing. However these narrow lanes are a hub of activities. These lanes have houses, temples, hostels, shops selling a wide range of things and also restaurants. It’s like a mini city within and an adventure overall. However the reward at the end is priceless. You are faced with a magnificent view of the river Ganga flowing toward Bay of Bengal in all its might.  The entire hustle and bustle, all that noise is replaced with tranquility and beauty that it leaves you speechless. It’s like time itself stops and you are transported to a different era. During the day you will find people sitting by the river deep in meditation and during the nights, you find people just sitting or walking around enjoying the breeze and tranquility. The main attractions of Varanasi apart from the holy river of Ganga are the temple of “Lord Shiva” and Ganga Aarti (prayer offered to river Ganga) which takes every evening on the banks of the river.  The entire spectacle is stunning and is a treat to the senses in every way. This scene is best enjoyed from a boat on the river.

What I observed is that Varanasi, over the years has become a money making institution with people trying to take advantage of the faith in order to extract money in any which way possible. Every aspect of the faith and religion is commercialized and turned into a profitable business. With this kind of rampant commercialization, faith itself takes a back seat as you are constantly trying to ward off people trying to take advantage.  Having said this, the city also boasts various institutions of different sects and beliefs like “Ramakrishna Mission” that teach yoga, meditation and free medical services.  Varanasi over the years has attracted people from all walks of life including international tourists. People flock to this place not only for the religious significance but also in search of peace and spiritual enlightenment.  Unless you are an atheist, Varanasi does not fail to leave a mark on you.

 I, on the other hand was not sure what I wanted when I started on this journey. But when I left Varanasi, I left with the images of mighty Ganga, the Ganga Aarti, the tranquility that I experienced sitting on the banks of Ganga, those narrow and congested lanes alive with activity, the tuk tuks.

Now the travel bug has gotten into me. I love the unexpected detours. All the well made plans go for a toss and you end up experiencing something new and wonderful.

I intend to continue this travelling. I intent to satiate this growing wanderlust.

.

River of Insanity

—————————————–

It all Started with a thought

and a bottle of vodka

The thoughts multipled

as vodka took control

before I realised

I was floating

down the river of insanity

Bizzare Episodes

Lots of times I feel totally disconnected from everything and everybody around me. I tried understanding why I feel that way, but somehow I could never completely understand the reasons. The following is my way of expressing this never dying feeling inside me.

 

Part-1: Where am I?

He opens his eyes and he finds himself in a dark and smoke filled room. He looks around confused and dazed. People all around him – Naked. He can feel their cold stares all over his body. On the floor a woman lying with her arms resting on the side. Calm and steady as if meditating. She is oblivious of her nakedness and her surroundings. Staring into the night sky through the open roof. The sky is filled with a million stars as if fighting to compete for her attention. Stars of all colors filling the sky with such brightness that it hurts the eyes. Yet she stares at the sky without blinking. He looks around again and the naked people are still staring at him. He asks loudly “Where am I? Who are you people?? He gets no answer, only stunned silence. He wonders, the sky is filled with so many stars, yet this room is dark. What is this place? All the while the stares continue. He wonders if these people are staring at him or something beyond him. Then he hears a loud voice that says “Welcome!”. The voice catches him off-guard. “Welcome!” the voice booms again. “Where am I? What is this place?  The voice replies:  “This is the place you always wanted to be in”.

 

Part-2: The Warrior.

A warrior sits underneath a street lamp fully armed in a crowed intersection. All around him there is a plethora of activity. Cars flying on the road. People walking everywhere. Shops elegantly decorated with lights of different colors. Wind blowing between the high Skyscrapers and making people shiver. The warrior is confused. He looks at himself. He has his helmet on, his breastplate thick and strong made out of brass and shiny big blade neatly tucked in his scabbard. If his guess is right, he is in the wrong place. He should be in a battlefield and not in this place. He clearly does not belong here. His eyes fall on a dirty woman with ragged clothes lying on the ground. Half her body is exposed to the elements. Yet she makes no effort to cover herself. Then his eyes fall on a couple walking along the road with hand in hand whispering into each others ears. The warrior thinks this is an illusion created by the enemy and he unsheathes his sword as if expecting the enemy to charge straight at him. Yet no one notices him. He gives out a loud war cry and still no one notices him. The warrior is even more confused and just stands there and watches people walk up and down the street. Finally he sits down again underneath the street lamp.

Illusion

Sadness fades to numbness
A million scarlet faces on the horizon
A lone man wandering on the streets
Loud music ringing in his ears
Confronting unknown fears
Desires flying high in the air
Walking on shattered glasses
Harboring deep desires
Putting to together broken life
Head held high
Ready to become a martyr
Is this a dream?
Or a stoned Illusion!

I met Gandhi when I was stoned

 

 

 

 

After having met God or should I say after realizing that God is a DJ, I went around His crib. My head was filled with thousand questions. There were people everywhere dancing, laughing and God knows doing what? “Oh Shit! Can I say that?” I looked behind to see if God, I mean the DJ heard it (Shit! I am confused). Anyways my eyes fell on a door which was labeled “VIP ROOM”.

 

I became curious and wanted to enter. But I was not sure if I can. I mean it’s all surreal. I looked around to see if I can check with somebody. In the corner I saw a guy bend over some complex machine kinda thing. What’s funny about him is that he has a strange kinda beard. He also looked strangely familiar.

I walked up to him and said “Hey Dude, do you know if it’s ok I enter the VIP Room?”

The guy with the beard slowly raises his head and I freeze.

“What the fuck? Are you who I am thinking you are?”

The just smiles and nods.

“No ways! No fucking ways! You can’t be him”

“Dude you are in a place where everything is possible”

“But you are Jesus H Christ” I say it out loud.

“Out here I am the sound engineer. They call me the box man. I am in charge for the pulsating sound that you are hearing.”

“Then who is that?” I ask pointing toward the DJ.

“You haven’t met him yet? He is THE ONE and THE EVERYTHING. He is GOD”

“Then who are you?”

“I told ya dude, I am the sound guy”

“Ok you need time to understand all this. You wanted to go into the VIP Room right?”

 I just nod my head.

“You can go” the box man says and again gets busy with his machine.

 

I walked towards the door wondering if I smoked weed or something else.

I enter the VIP Room and am immediately blown by what I saw.

There were people sitting everywhere around round tables, but the room was awfully silent. On one table I saw “the 3 Jimmies” playing poker.

Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Jimmy page!

On another, I saw John Lennon and Bob Marley discussing something.

 

But what I saw on the third table shocked the living day lights out of me.

I saw Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin.

What in the name of God are these people doing together! That too at the same table!

 

All four of them seem to be engrossed in some kinda serious discussion. What was weird is they were all wearing the exact same clothes which became synonymous with them. Gandhi in this Dhoti (a white colored cotton wrap around), Hitler and Stalin in their respective uniforms and Churchill in his wheelchair wearing a 3 piece suit.

What stuck me as odd is the fact that these people were contemporaries and were responsible for changing the world history in their own way. And yet they are sitting at one table and appear as it they are not concerned about their contributions.

I was so numb that it took my mind sometime to process what my eyes saw. My experience is fast becoming ridiculous and making Harry Potter very much believable.

 

Recovering from shock, I wondered what they must be discussing.

World peace may be? Or perhaps Gandhi is explaining his non-violence ideology. 

 

Damn I wish I had my camera. Imagine what a priceless picture it could have been.

 

I gather some courage and walked up to the table. All of them stopped talking and looked at me. I felt silly and was ready to bolt any moment. Then, Gandhi beaconed me to sit. I pulled a chair and sat without speaking.

 

“What do you do young man?” asked Gandhi in a frail voice.

“Hmmm… I am a musician” I said

“What kind of music do you play?” asked Hitler.

When I turned to face him, I half expected that he would expect me to stand up and say “Hail Hitler” with my arm out- stretched.

 

But he just looked at me and I stared back at him.

 

“Rock” came the answer and I had no fucking clue how?

 

“Music these days is more of noise than anything else” said Stalin with a booming voice.

 

Real or surreal I don’t care, but I promised myself that I will never smoke weed again. Man! This is out this world.

 

There are so many questions that I wanted to ask these guys.

For example I wanted to ask Hitler if he was mental.  I wanted to ask Stalin was he abused as a child? I wanted to ask Churchill “Dude what were you thinking?” 

And Gandhi, well I always wanted to ask him why he always wore a dhoti and if wore anything inside?  (I know, I know that’s rude and gross, but I always wonder about that as a child).

 

Anyways I was offered a drink and I took it without a word. I didn’t even move a muscle scared that something might happen to me or I might just vaporize or some shit like that.

 

For the second time I gathered courage and asked them what they were discussing.

 

To which Churchill answered

 

“Well we were discussing who we would want to be when we enter the world once again.”

“Enter the world once again?” I asked with a confused look.

“Yeah our first visit was very stressful. This time we want to lead a normal life.” 

“Who decides that?”

“He”

“Who is He?”

“You met him, God”

“You mean the Dj”

“Yeah, DJ, the Architect all one and the same”

“Architect as in, the Architect of the matrix?”

“Yes, that’s him.”

 

Now I was sure I was dreaming. I pinched myself to wake up. But nothing happened.

 

“Dudes, I am already confused. Don’t make it complicated by saying that there is a Matrix and that I am a part of it.”

 

Then it dawned on me. It made sense as why the DJ said “Finally you have come!”

 

OH SHIT! I AM THE CHOSEN ONE.

 

I am definitely not smoking any more weed!

 

 

*************——————-************

 

Like my earlier piece, this was not written to hurt anybody’s religious or any other sentiments. I have great respect for Gandhi and what he has done for my country.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I met God when I was stoned

I met God when I was stoned. It was damp and cold with no lights around.

“Just another one and you will be there”, said the voice.

I took a drag and fell on my back. My eyes rolled and senses numb.

“Oh take me there” I asked the voice.

The voice took my hand and I left my body. Floating now and giggling like a child. I saw the moon; I saw the stars lonely and cold waiting to die. Some big and bright and some small and dull. Terrifyingly alone yet immaculately placed. I said goodbye to them and entered the darkness.

“What is this place?” I asked the voice.
“It’s the graveyard for the death” came the reply.
I took another drag and said “NO SHIT”.
“Yes that too”, said the voice.

Slowly darkness gave way to a kind of bluish haze. It was like the sky was filled with some kind of blue gas.

“Now whose graveyard is this?” I asked the voice.
“Stars! This is where life is created. Stars when they die, they explode and thus life is created” came the answer.

Utterly confused and dazed I stared ahead. I saw a faint light growing big.

“What is THAT?”
“That’s the light tunnel. We need to take it to meet Him”.
“Light tunnel?”
“Yes Light Tunnel”.
“And who is He?”
“He is the one you wanted to meet!”

As I entered the light tunnel, my body froze. I could not move and SHIT I could not blink even. Then I entered a room filled with people. People of all ages, sex, race and color dancing and swaying in ecstasy to the tunes of the DJ. I looked around for the DJ and there he was standing in the corner spinning records.

“That’s Him! He is the One you wanted to meet” said the voice.
I walked to the DJ and asked “Who the hell are you Dude and where the fuck am I?”

The DJ turned around and said “Ah! Finally you have come. I’m the God”

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief wondering if I was reading too much of Harry Potter.

“No kidding. You are THE God? But you are the DJ.”
“Yes I’m the DJ and I am the God. I am the Alpha and the Beta. I am the beginning and the end. Hell I am Jim Morrison and I’m John Lennon” came the answer from the DJ with loose t-shirt and super loose baggy pants.

“Wait! Am I dreaming?”
“No you are not.”
“Who are these people?”
“Oh! They are my guests. Look around you will find some famous and interesting people.”
“How did these people get here?”
“They attained Nirvana!”
“No shit! This is where people come after attaining Nirvana?”
“Absolutely!”
“Can I have a drag?” asked the DJ
“You want a drag?” I asked Him in absolute disbelief.
“Yes dude I want a drag and stop acting surprised.”

Shell shocked and with great effort I passed the joint to Him. He took a drag, inhaling the smoke savoring every moment.

“You know the biggest mistake I ever did after getting stoned?”
“What?” I asked feeling unreal and stupid.
“I created mankind and ever since I am trying to cover up.”

*********——————**********

This piece was not written to hurt anyone’s religious sentiments. If it does, then Dude take a hike.

Coming Soon: I met Gandhi when I was stoned.

 

Hallucination

Hand on the wheel,

Leg on the brake.

Breeze through the window,

a buzz in my head.

Thoughts waver,

but road is constant.

Eyes close,

under heavy eyelids.

Hand on the wheel,

Leg on the brake. 

—- 

Legs shiver

and lips quiver.

Neon lights,

passing cars,

A Guitar playing

somewhere in the head.

Hand on the wheel,

Leg on the brake. 

—- 

Unwinding roads

and million destinations.

What is this I am feeling?

The tightening of the heart,

the burning of the eyes.

What is this I am hearing?

squeaking of the wheel,

the chirping of birds.

—- 

Images flood my mind.

Images of love & friendship,

images of betrayal & tears.

Can’t seem to feel any different.

Can’t seem to make any sense.

—- 

Destination is nearing

and road seems to end.

Music fades…

Lights go out…

Hand on the wheel,

leg on the brake.